Season Notes: violence

Benj

Benj took midwatch. It was quiet, had been quiet all night. He wasn’t surprised — they hadn’t left anyone alive behind them, not even the drone. And they’d paid for the motel with cash, so there was no trail.

It left Benj a bit more confident than he should have been. Confident enough that he was looking away from the window every so often to watch Marcus sleep.

None of them were strangers to sleeping sitting up, boots on and weapons in hand. But there was something different about how Marcus sat in front of Nastasia. Something in the way they’d looked at each other tonight.

Benj grinned wryly and pulled his gaze back to the parking lot outside the window. He’d never really expected Marcus to be his. And it was odd as fuck watching the silver fox he’d known for years shed those years like a duck sheds water.

He still liked to look. And Marcus looked damn beautiful sitting guard over Nastasia like that.

When he turned to look again, Nastasia was awake and looking back.

When she sat up, Marcus started to straighten. She just put a hand on his shoulder and said something — Benj could guess what — and Marcus was back out like a light.

“If you ever want to ditch us,” Benj murmured as she came to stand beside him, “We don’t stand a chance.”

“Why would I ever want to ditch you?” Nastasia asked. In the still night, her voice was like a caress. Benj shivered. “You are mine.”

Benj tried to chuckle. “Yeah, I guess vampires don’t have divorce, huh?”

“Not exactly.”

They stood quietly for a time. “We should be safe for the night,” Nastasia said. “Only a fool attacks our clan when Luna is in the sky.”

“Good to know.”

She was close enough that he could feel the warmth of her body. Could hear when she turned to him and sniffed gently. Hummed.

“You smell good.”

It sent a thrill through him but also disturbed him. He’d been attracted to women before, but not often. And he’d never been interested in polyamory.

“I don’t know how to handle this,” he said after a moment. “I still…” he looked at Marcus again, couldn’t help himself.

When he looked back at Nastasia, he was surprised to see she was smiling at him. “That’s okay. I don’t either.”

He chuckled for real then. “Not what you expected for your honeymoon, huh?”

“Nope. But better than I’d been afraid of.” This time she was the one who glanced at Marcus. “You agreed for him, didn’t you?”

Benj scanned the parking lot, using the need to watch as an excuse to look away. “Is it that obvious?”

“No. Leyla probably knows.”

He snorted. “Leyla always knows.”

“I’m getting that

She smiled again, and it did something to his insides. He wanted to blame the vampire magic, but she’d done this to him from the moment he woke up tied to that chair.

“So… you want a wing-woman?”

Benj twitched. “What?” He knew what the words meant, just…

“I don’t think you want to know just how good you smell to me.” It wasn’t said seductively. In fact, she sounded… awkward. Uncertain.

Tough soldier. Hardened mercenary. Man who had walked through more shooting fights than he could remember, even though he wasn’t much older than Nastasia.

Yeah, he felt the blush up to his ears and down to… Well.

“I’m,” he cleared his throat, “I’m guessing about as good as you sound to me?” Yeah, that sounded as ridiculous as he’d thought it word.

She was looking at him and biting her lip. He was trying to figure out how to extract his kneecap from his mouth. And they both… started laughing.

When the laughter died down, he said, somewhat breathlessly, “So we’re both young, awkward, and foolish, I guess?”

“With no clue what we’re doing.”

The smile they shared this time was relaxed and understanding.

“I don’t know how to do polyamory,” Benj heard himself saying, “But yeah, I’ll take a wingwoman if you’ll take a wingman?”

Nastasia’s smile became a grin. “And we’ll figure out the rest later?”

“I can so work with that.”

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Nastasia

It wasn’t the strangest night of my life. (That would be the night I kidnapped the team and made them sotii.) But in the dark, the others sleeping around us, Benj standing guard while we shared, “OMG his biceps” type comments about Marcus? Definitely in the top ten.

I was not okay. I hadn’t forgotten everything that happened yesterday, or my freak out, or any of the reasons I’d had for freaking out.

I was pretty sure I was dissociating, actually.

But the middle of the night has always had an out-of-time quality. Even humans notice it, but for Luna clan, it is like those few hours under the full moon are a separate world, held safe and sacred. During those hours, I could forget all the stress and just… spend time with a friend.

Benj was a friend, I knew now. A new friend, one I was still getting to know. But of all my sotii, he would be the one I could go to for girl talk (sorry, Leyla), or (I was pretty sure) to play pranks on the others, or shoot the breeze in between the big stuff.

He might be more someday, and that would be nice. Very nice.

Not now.

I had four other sotii to figure out where I stood and build relationships with. Having Benj as ‘just’ a friend for now?

That was kind of perfect, actually.

I was going to have fun tormenting Marcus with him.

After a while, I climbed back into bed. Karen cuddled up against my back again, and Marcus grumbled at me, still half asleep.

“What the hell, Nastasia? You can’t just,” he yawned, “send me to sleep like that…”

“Why not? Benj is on watch; we’re all safe. And I need you rested for the morning.” My voice hitched as I remembered all I would need to face once the moon set.

“Sleep,” I said — to both of us. I knew I’d pay for that in the morning. But that was future Nastasia’s problem.

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