Season content notes: Ableism

Paiokp waited until the others had entered the house after Chotaikytsai. Then slipped out the gate.

The dock market, ey told emself. Chotaikytsai had mentioned wanting fish for dinner. That was all. Ey was going for dinner.

But fish for dinner wouldn’t have sent em running down the street. Wouldn’t have made the world blur around em…By the time ey reached the dock market ey was exhausted and holding back tears.

Like everything else in the city, the dock market was dirtier than eir home. Eir old home (it was never really home, whispered part of em) had smelled of the shoreline and the breeze off the mountains behind them.

Here, the smell of rotting fish overwhelmed the scent of the shore. A thin screen covered the market, holding off the sun and trapping the smell and heat. The ground was littered with fish scales. Even the lightning post in the center of the market was stained with bird poop and damaged, half the height it should be, barely large enough to act as a support for the screen

Paiokp shuddered. Sun touch was bad enough, but lightning? That was the heart of the sun on earth and could reshape the world for armlengths around it. Once a tree outside the village had been struck, and not just the tree but a whole section of the village fence had been transformed — the tree into a completely different kind of tree, the fence into palm fronds.

What lightning did to people caught within its reach… Paiokp had, thankfully, never seen, but heard enough stories.

Add to that the fire the lightning sometimes brought with it and…

Did the people of this city have a death wish?

Maybe it had been a mistake to come here. If ey hadn’t insisted on the city, Lefeng would likely have found another farwalker family to join. Ey could have taken Chestef with em. Surely Lefeng would have preferred that.

But they were here now. Lefeng seemed happy with the new family. Chestef had bonded with Chotaikytsai and Tsouchm.

The new family had a home and a trade now. With Lefeng and Chestef settled it was time for Paiokp to leave. Ey knew how the town folk would react when they learned that ey was sun-cursed. They were civilized, without Lefeng’s barbarian superstitions to blind them to how dangerous eir presence was. Even Paiokp’s Cenn had barely accepted em after the accident. Ey wouldn’t fool emself into believing that people who had been strangers half a year ago would actually want em to stay.

It was a matter of time before Paiokp was forced out. Better to leave before then. Better not to create a situation where Lefeng and Chestef would feel the need to defend em.

Paiokp needed to make a plan. It wouldn’t be enough to get up and walk out. However much ey sometimes wished ey had died with eir family, Paiokp wanted to live, and that meant food and — especially now! — shelter.

Perhaps ey could go, as Lefeng and Tsouchm had, to get day-work as familyless. There would be fishing families who hired help — to get a day’s catch or repair torn nets.

Ey found a fishmonger selling a good catch of red fish and bargained for enough for a good meal. Unlike Lefeng, Paiokp had learned how the token system of the town worked. Not as well as a native, but well enough to barter for a mess of fish.

Yes, it was time to look into moving on. Ey knew enough to survive in the city — ey glanced nervously at the broken lightning column — as well as anyone could, anyway. And Lefeng and Chestef were settled and comfortable.

Tears gathered again, but ey blinked them away. Paiokp would be fine. Surely.

Heading home, Paiokp stepped out from under the market screen into the full force of the westerning sun. The bright days were on them, and getting worse each day. Maybe ey would wait, then. Until the bright days passed. There would be little work during the bright days. Certainly, the fishing fleet wouldn’t keep going out much longer…

Ey didn’t need to be alone yet. Not yet.